please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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