Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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