Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
