Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
