remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
