Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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