Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
