foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And then my night got REAL pukey
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
