our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We had sex on a dog bed..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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