woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
