something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
