I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
