CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I deserve this hangover.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
