I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
