quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
