I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
