I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
