i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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