No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
