I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
