well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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