no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
