are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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