I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
