You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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