I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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