I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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