What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
this will be a night to untag.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
