it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
