i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
