she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
