i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it's like iHOP with fire
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Randomize
