we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I intend to get homeless drunk
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
