Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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