in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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