sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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