I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
