so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
