One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
