As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
