woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
