I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
