Ambien. No doubt about it.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
