Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
