We're like a lot better than the average bears
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
