if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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