you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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