Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
