Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
