Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
