One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
