you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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